No news may be good news, but it’s still fucking boring

We have to give it to the Record. When jack shit went on the previous day, it’s fairly easy to tell. Whether it’s the 7 full page ads in a 16-page section (and a mind boggling 4 straight pages of full pagers from A6-A10, and that’s before we consider the half page ads. Is this a newspaper or a fucking catalog?), or Fitzy’s column which breaks the hard hitting news that old people are stubborn (have a dispute that isn’t inherently humorous and is extremely petty? Shoot a phone call over to Fitzy. Duke’s e-mailing him about his ongoing saga with Wells Fargo as I type this), or something as simple as a fat kid running (putting the word “streaker” in the headline may have been a bad idea by the way), the message is clear. Nothing good happened yesterday.

Not to mention that fat kid who can run story made the front page of the Sports section while a preview of the Kings and their first game of the season doesn’t make the paper at all. And we know they know the season is starting because they included a Warriors preview. Which (bold prediction alert!) is going to be hilarious because the Warriors are going to be worse than the Kings this year (you can’t replace Boom Dizzle with Corey Maggette and Ronny “Zoneil” Turiaf and think everything’s going to be ok).

Although we have to say, this slow news day is a lot easier to stomach due to the inclusion of not one, but two pictures of the beautiful Jenny Lewis. God, we would do dirty things to that woman. Even if she is technically a midget. (No really, we’ve met her a couple of times. She came up to our nipples while wearing platform boots. She’s 5’0″ tops. YouTube one of Rilo Kiley’s appearances on Conan. She comes up to his kneecaps.)

And while were here we might as well dump some things we’ve been meaning to get to. Yes, we realize we still have a promised BWDW to do. We blame car troubles. Hopefully we’ll be able to knock that one out by the end of the week. And if you know of a Halloween party that’s not listed on 209Vibe’s Events page, let us know so we can include it in the Friday “Shit to do” post. Oh, and we missed Saturday’s Record so we’re not entirely sure if Dolemitewatch should continue or not because the Record doesn’t include the 3MR online (eRecord doesn’t count). So Dolemitewatch continues until further notice.

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~ by Slick Diaz on October 29, 2008.

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