Quick Links for Dec. 16th

We’ll get to your irregularly scheduled Quick Links, but first we have to get today’s “Called it!” moment out of the way. In yesterday’s Kings Kolumn, El Duke called his shot:
“What should be the topic of his entire column will be a bullet point so he can make a joke about St. Mary’s that roughly 15 people will get. If they’re feeling frisky they might reprint Amick’s column.”

Wow, that’s a fairly specific prediction, let’s turn to page C1 and see what we got. Let’s see, well lookee here, there’s Sam Amick and that article we’ve already read on that fancy internet thing we’ve heard so much about. And what’s this? Why Ol’ Bulletpoint didn’t just dedicate only a single bullet point to the Theus firing, he dedicated two bullet points to St. Mary’s. Fuck, we hit that dead on. So allow us this moment of gloating. The Record’s sport pages are so bad that El Duke predicted the content (and, just for us in the RTT offices, the exact page layout) of the front page of the sport section. What do they pay Bob Highfill for again? Can we take his paycheck and use it to help fund 209Vibe? In conclusion…CALLED IT!

The Teen Slave story has apparently gotten so big that the Record can outsource it to the wire services now. Considering they weren’t exactly leading the pack in digging up information on the story despite being the closest daily newspaper we can’t say we’re surprised. The Record’s motto has always been “We report the news, unless someone else can cover it for us” after all. The wire story does throw out a decent amount of new information though. Of course because the Record has this weird theory that you can’t even fucking link to wire stories, it took me forfuckingever to find the specific story. But since I love you guys, here it is. It gives a fairly interesting backstory as to how the kid got hooked up with his non-aunt (apparently she was neighbors with his real mom, who’s been suspiciously silent through this whole ordeal) and his life pre-Teen Slave.

Back in Stockton, the family of that guy who got shot and killed by the police for wondering what the commotion going on in his south Stockton backyard was is planning on bringing wrongful death charges against Stockton PD. They seem to have a strong case too if you’re to believe their lawyer. SPD shot the guy through his screen door which means he didn’t even have to leave the fucking house to get gunned down. Then they allegedly trashed the garage/house, presumably to try and find something to justify the shooting. And they didn’t. They shot a guy with a legally acquired gun while he was standing inside his house looking to see who was trespassing onto his property. If they spent half the time fighting crime that they use trying to cover up their fuckups our crime rate might actually lower to 3rd in the state. Of course that still doesn’t mean they deserve a 9% raise. I feel like I should re-note that all these accusations are just that, accusations. But when the police start stonewalling the media, it’s a pretty good indication as to who’s story you should believe.

In lighter news, William Choyce was sentenced to death yesterday. Which would be a more vindicating verdict if California wasn’t a bunch of pussies and actually executed death row inmates. Instead George Clinton’s doppelganger will probably just ride out the rest of his life in prison where they’ll assure him the most painless natural death possible. You know, the kind of death his victims weren’t afforded.

In actual lighter news, former State Assemblyman Alan Nakanishi is enjoying life in the private sector. After terming out as an assemblyman Nakanishi returned to his hohum life as a doctor where he no longer shoulders the burden of having to do stuff for his constituents. Don’t worry, the transition should be easy, he didn’t do anything for his constituents when he was in office either! When looking for stuff that Nakanishi actually did for SJ County, the biggest thing found apparently was the transfer of Oak Grove Regional Park from the county to the city of Stockton. Because if there’s one thing the city needed, it was another park to take care of. This of course happened after the Asparagus Festival was moved downtown. So ummm, thanks Alan. He blamed his lack of legislative results on the Democratically controlled State Assembly to which we reply, bullshit. Being in the minority party doesn’t automatically absolve you of not getting shit done. It’s called politics, go out there and fucking shake hands, scratch some backs, make backhanded deals, get your Blagojevich on for fuck’s sake. Do anything but fucking sit there and go “but I’m a republican.” It just makes you look like a lazy jackass.

Hey wait, this was our idea! Anybody who doesn’t vote the Stockton Rodeo number one is a dirty liar…and a communist.

Hey, remember earlier when we called the sports page? Yeah, that was just a few paragraphs ago. Well now we’re putting on a different hat because, quess what? We scooped it! Last week we brought you the news that the AFL was considering suspending 2009 operations and may even be folding. Well, they suspended their season on Sunday. Unfortunately it doesn’t affect the afl2 league and we’ll be “blessed” with another season of Lightening football.

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~ by Slick Diaz on December 16, 2008.

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