Kings Kolumn: Khristmas Kome Late

I’d been working on a Kings Kolumn about Beno Udrih this week. I was going to write about how you don’t give career backups who got cut the year before 5-year contacts. I was also going to blast KHTK for blowing Kenny Thomas for playing what can be generously described as decently for a whole 20 mins. But then something happened yesterday that washed all that anger away.

I got a text message from Bris Isaak:

“Guess who’s back!?

At first I assumed he was referring to Jason Giambi (and hopefully his mustache). Then I thought one of our friends from out of the country was visiting. Then I got the next text.

“Coachie’s back”

I then stood up and danced a happy Irish jig. Which was difficult because I was driving.

Yes, it was announced yesterday that the Kings reached a deal with former assistant coach and mastermind of the Princeton offense Pete Carril to return to the team as a “Basketball Development Consultant”. And with apologies to my brother who got me a customized Kings jersey with my name on the back, it was the best Christmas gift of the year (even if Christmas was technically last year). Any Kings fan with even a passing knowledge of the teams past knows how important Carril was to the Kings teams of the early-00s. Remember Jason Williams? Remember him after he was traded to the Grizzlies (in one of the biggest thefts in NBA history)? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

If there’s one thing Pete Carril can do it’s get the most out of young players. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but besides Brad Miller the entire fucking team is young players. The Kings offense stagnated after Beno got locked into a 5-year deal. Coincidence? Probably not. But after Theus’ firing the immediate front runner, or at least the guy everybody wanted, was Eddie Jordan. Why did we want EJ so bad? For the sole reason that he ran a form of Carril’s Princeton offense. Getting the actual guy, even if he won’t actually be on the bench, is fucking awesome. I’d analyze this more, but if you don’t know that Pete Carril returning to the Kings is the best news all season I don’t want to fucking talk to you. Plus there’s more good news.

Mikki Moore’s reign of terrible is over. In a season that’s been stomach punch after stomach punch, yesterday was like winning the lotto while getting a blowjob from from Jennifer Aniston while smoking some Pineapple Express. No seriously, look at these stats that Tom Ziller so lovingly put together:

Kings offensive rebounding: 25.4% — 23rd in the league

Kings defensive rebounding: 70.2% — 29th in the league

Jason Thompson’s rebounding: 16.0% — #1 on team

Mikki Moore’s rebounding: 12.1% — #6 on team”

While I can be accused from time to time of assuming people are as obsessed with the Kings as I am, even when the team was good we were a bad rebounding team. Everybody knows the Kings suck at rebounding. It’s as certain as a 4th quarter collapse. Anything that increases rebounds is a good great thing. So good that I’m not even pissed that I had to scrap and almost finish column to put up this half-assed joyfest. Of course I would wonder why they didn’t just bring Coachie in when Theus was around, but there’s no way Reg would have kept his job after that Celtics game anyway. I watched that game from start to finish knowing the Kings had no chance at winning just so I would know that I was watching the low point of the season. It couldn’t get any worse after that. I just didn’t expect the high point of the season to come so quickly.

Now who’s down for a road trip to Reno?


~ by El Duke on January 9, 2009.

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