Quick Links for Feb. 23rd. (aka, the part where I apoligize for the 50th time for cutting out early last week)

Hey, sorry we kind of crapped out at the end of the week. I was admittedly fairly burnt out by Thursday and that was before I had to spend the weekend moving (thanks to El Duke and Bris for helping by the way). So I could probably use a weekend from my weekend, but I’ll power through because shit’s been going on and we haven’t covered it. I’m working on finding more writers to help lighten my writing load, I’ve put some feelers out to some people and as always you can e-mail us if you feel like contributing. Now let’s work on some backed up Quick Links.

It’s official, nobody but Forbes thinks Stockton is miserable

All together now, Don Blount saw reader responses! I’m conflicted on this one. On one hand, I’m so God damn tired of hearing about this obviously flawed Forbes list. We get it, rankings of subjective things such as misery levels aren’t ironclad. But on the other hand, I don’t have to read that much of Don Blount’s poor excuse for prose. Which was a nice bonus.

Not that the reader reaction is any better. One guy wonders how Stockton can be both #1 in misery and an All-American City (hint: it’s because AAC is also a flawed award, and we last won it 5 years ago). That same guy also says our “nice churches” are another reason we can’t be miserable (What? No opera and theatre?). Ignoring the fact that some of the most miserable times I’ve had have been in church, the Christian Life Center on West Lane would like to disagree with that “nice” claim. Also, shouldn’t scoutmasters like camping? Using it as an example of true misery seems to be counterproductive to the job description.

But anyways, for a paper that’s had two people pretty much call the Forbes list an abomination to journalism, they really won’t just let this story die.

Oh no! Not the Encore section! Wait, what the fuck is the Encore section?

The Coozer made an appearance in Sunday’s Record to announce that the Record will ax the TV Guide section that appears in Sunday’s paper in yet another cost-cutting measure. If that section was anything resembling useful we’d probably have a stronger opinion on this. But considering it was wire shit with barely comprehensible TV listings thrown in the middle it’s kind of surprising this didn’t happen sooner.

Although, we gotta say, if shit’s so tight economically for the Record, why are they doing random special inserts like the “Outlook” special section from a week ago? It was pretty much saying “Stockton’s future is going to be OK, don’t kill yourself! See, not miserable.” And then there’s the infamous 130-page Cleveland School shooting special section from last month. It’s like as soon as the Record decided to contract they decided every Sunday should be a special commemorative Sunday. We await their “Gas prices craziness!” 3-part series revisit. And somebody please tell us why the even more useless Parade magazine survived this cut.

Best way to get paid in Stockton? Stop working

Wow, this list was just unfortunate. This hasn’t exactly been the best month for the city timing-wise. This list couldn’t have come at a worse time as Gordon Palmer (#5!) works on negotiating paycuts to avoid police layoffs. Especially since the Fire Department accounts for 40% of the list.

But the most damaging one has to be #3, man of a million ideas Steve Pinkerton. He left the city halfway through the year! A guy who punched 6-7 months on the clock in 2008 still earned the 3rd highest civic paycheck. When reached for comment Pinkerton advised that we “revitalize our downtown.” We’re pretty sure he was coming on to us.

Not a good week for the homeless, and that’s not a foreclosure joke

While the country works to prevent more people from losing their home, the state was figuratively buttfucking those who are currently homeless. First Cal-Trans broke up the homeless encampment under the crosstown freeway downtown, making the homeless somehow even homelesser. And then, if that weren’t enough, they increased the number of homeless sex offenders by changing housing assistance limits. So not only do assloads of bums have to find new park benches to nap on, but another pederast hobo might come by and fondle their junk. What’s a pederast you ask? Shut the fuck up Donnie.

Saving the best and most important for last

I first heard the news about the closing of the Miracle Mile See’s Candies from Fitzy’s blog. In it he talks about his fight to help save the store from closure in the 90s using his column as a jumping off platform. It serves as a fond reminder to the halcyon days when newspapers mattered.

Now? See’s doesn’t give a fuck, losing money is losing money and a standalone store on the Miracle Mile doesn’t come cheap. Of course, since this is the Mile, all the Record’s old white readers are flipping cookies. You mean, they’ll have to go to *gasp!* the mall to go get expensive ass chocolate? But there’s black people there! And Mexicans! You really expect them to drive a whole mile and a half down to Weberstown Mall to shop amongst common minorities!? At least make them something exotic, like Tiger Woods’ kid or something.

In case you couldn’t tell, we don’t see what the big fucking deal is. The ambiance of the Miracle Mile died when the Stockton Royal did. And if that didn’t do it, turning an awesome place like Bull-n-Bear into the douchetastic Back Bay certainly did. Nobody’s even getting laid off, they just have to add 5 minutes to their commute. Stockton didn’t need three See’s Candies, and cutting the one that probably had the highest overhead made the most sense financially. Mileheads need to get over themselves and realize that it’s OK to patronize places that aren’t on the Mile or in Lincoln Center. You probably won’t get shot, honest.

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~ by Slick Diaz on February 23, 2009.

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