Quick Links for May 15th

Sexy Friday is here, and I’m feeling a little Quick Linky today Quick Links!

RIP Wayman Tisdale 1964-2009

Some days just start off shitty. Today is one of those days. Former King, successful jazz musician, 3-time All-American with Oklahoma, bad motherfucker, one of my favorite NBA players, and all-around good great guy Wayman Tisdale lost his battle with cancer this morning at the age of 44. Tis discovered he had cancer 2 years ago when a cyst was found under his right knee after he broke his leg. They ended up having to amputate (!) that leg in August but the cancer returned and we’re less one awesome dude.

I’m not sure what more I can add to this but Sactown Royalty’s Tom Ziller said it best. Fuck you cancer. Fuck you.

Technology is awesome (via Digg)

Want to go see an IMAX movie on a big fucking screen? Well, make sure to double check whether or not the alleged IMAX movie theater you’re planning to go to has one. Someone has complied a Google Map of which theaters have the actual huge IMAX screens and which ones just have slightly better digital quality. And if you missed yesterday’s post, Stockton has a LIEMAX.

Congratulations UOP class of 2009. You’re officially fucked, just like the rest of us (NSFW Porky’s clip at the end)

UOP’s graduation is this weekend and I was planning on offering advice to the outgoing seniors entering the real world, but Drew Magary beat me to it on Deadspin. My favorite (and the most accurate) passage:

“Guess what, fuckos? Party’s over. You’re out of college now, and your parents are now too poor to nurse you through grad school. No more fantasy life for you. No more ice luges. No more intellectual discourse. No more ripe teenage pussy. That’s all over now. YOU ARE FUCKED. Your days will now consist of searching for a job in a marketplace where no available job of any sort fucking exists. Your commencement speaker will probably tell you your class “faces enormous challenges,” or some bullshit euphemism like that. This is a lie. A challenge is something you can overcome. You, on the other hand, are completely, unavoidably fucked. You’re not going to cure cancer. You’re not going to stop wars. You’re not going to save the planet. If you’re lucky, you may stumble upon a $2 coupon for Honey Nut Cheerios one day. That will be about it.”

So yeah, congrats. You wasted 4 years of your life on a worthless degree class of 2009. No, our educational system isn’t broken at all, why do you ask?

Hopefully you still remember how to bullshit from all those papers you had to write, that’s the only skill you use in the real world. And don’t bother applying for that bartender job on craigslist to make ends meet. That Asian kid who always ruined the curve in your statistics class just took it. He was really good at bullshitting.

Noone was really fooled by Tony Amato’s grandstanding…until Fitzy came along

Fitz took a break from his latest attempt to relate to the common man to praise Tony Amato for fixing what was mostly a clerical error and for pushing more students towards earning almost completely useless degrees. Naturally he ignores simple things, like the fact that Tony Amato wasn’t even around for the 2007 Record story that they blew up and then dramatically ripped in half.

Of course the other question Fitzy doesn’t even bother to ask is should we be pushing these kids towards college. Is that putting too much pressure on their parents to afford it? Hell, do they even need college? Yeah, yeah, kids are our future, whatever. But there are some kids who just aren’t built for that shit. And frankly, I don’t want the kid who decided he’d rather hang out with his friends in Oakland than go to school studying to be a doctor. That kid better not be our future. Unless his future is being a janitor.

But on top of all of that, don’t we need to fix our increasingly expensive and increasingly useless educational system first before we start shipping kids off to places that don’t properly teach them how to bullshit? Why Fitzy, who just last week was predicting a watershed change in the American way of life, doesn’t question whether or not this system even works is beyond me. He’s too busy praising a guy who just said “Hey, let’s enforce the dropout guidelines.” Presumably while crying.

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~ by Slick Diaz on May 15, 2009.

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