Quick Links for July 13th

Shit, the weekend is never long enough. Hopefully this week brings us more news than last week. But until then, let’s see what Quick Links the weekend brought us.

Can you say paranoia?

In a classic example of why smokers shouldn’t sell weed, a guy was shot last night trying to buy pot because the dealer randomly began suspecting that his potential customer was in  a gang. Not sure why that matters considering money is money is money, but this principled dealer decided he wasn’t having none of that shit and pulled a gun on him. Details are sketchy, but we’re still floored that somebody could get shot over something as relaxing as sweet, sweet Mary Jane. This is not how you maintain a customer base.

Please be a returning Bull-n-Bear, please be a returning Bull-n-Bear, please be a returning Bull-n-Bear

Mike Fitzgerald returns to the shitty businesses nobody wanted in the first place that somehow can’t turn a profit despite prime location beat on his blog today by breaking the news that The Back Bay abruptly closed Thursday and will reopen this upcoming Thursday as a yet to be named bar/steakhouse thingy. The Back Bay of course was the establishment that replaced the beloved yet rowdy Bull-n-Bear bar amongst rumors that the city used some of their muscle to coax the owner to mover downtown and open up Bradley’s. The Back Bay moved to the Mile from Lodi and was a decidedly higher class place that fit most Mileheads vision of what the Mile should be. Predictably it never caught on because, well, because fuck Lodi. If we wanted to be more like Lodi we’d poach the good businesses like Lockeford Meats… oh wait, that’s in Lockeford. Well, fuck Lodi then. Much like Paragary’s, it never caught on (at least in our minds) partially because they were perceived as out-of-towners. Trust me, if Stockton had given that sweet, sweet subsidy deal to somebody local who understood Stockton, few people would have had problems with it. But we’re getting away from the point, the Back Bay is gone. Good riddance.

Speaking of failed local businesses…

Modesto finally got around to tearing down the old Mallards building, presumably because nobody thought they could make a restaurant work on the barren street corner of McHenry and Briggsmore.

Come back! We were just kidding about the whole shark jumping thing!

A month or so ago we wrote that Don Blount was the watermark for when a story had hit it’s saturation point. When he finally got around to writing about something, we just knew it was a matter of time until that story left the newscycle and we all danced a happy dance. Well, now it seems Blount himself has jumped the proverbial shark as he hasn’t opined about shit he’s seen in a month now. His words haven’t filled our craniums with confusion since he tried his best to push the economy over the shark on June 15th (a column we missed while on vacation, but still amazing in the amount of space it fills while giving little-to-no information at all).

Where has he been? Well, we don’t know really. Probably just a bad case of writer’s block, which is a good enough excuse for him to not have to turn in a column because he is the managing editor after all. But then there’s the question of how a man who just writes about shit he sees (like the time he shooed away a stray dog) can get writer’s block, and it only points to one conclusion. Don Blount has gone blind!* If he can’t see anything, then he can’t write anything! We’re not sure how he lost his vision but it’s really the only explanation we can come up with. We’d wish him a speedy recovery from his sudden bout of blindness, but he wouldn’t be able to read it. So somebody print this post up in braille for him so we can say Don, we miss you. Please write about your vision-less plight so we can once again be privy to your mind-meltingly awesome writing. Plus we’ve really been struggling for shit to write about on Mondays lately.

*Note: Not actually true, like at all.

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~ by Slick Diaz on July 13, 2009.

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