Quick Links for Aug. 19th

It’s Wednesday and we’re still going strong (booze helps), so let’s knock out some hump day Quick Links.

Best Dating Game Ever

So convicted murderer Brian Payne is getting kind of lonely in jail. Apparently his chats with Scott Smith aren’t cutting it any more. A man has needs and you can only fuck a grapefruit with a hole cut in it for so long.

Naturally, he asked Scott Smith to be his Chuck Woolery and help him in making a love connection. He’ll probably have more success than you or I do in trolling for ass. Women always dig the dangerous bad boy. And it doesn’t get much badder and dangerouser than gunning down your wife in a coke-induced rage. But the ladies shouldn’t worry about that. As The Record has told us numerous times over the past couple months, prison changes a man. The unavailability of booger sugar probably helps too. But hey, he can make sangria in the toilet. Of course, it’s shank or be shanked.

Milking the tit one last time

The Haggin mummy’s finally gone. Sure, we said goodbye to it almost 3 weeks ago, but it’s actually leaving this time! See! There’s exhilarating video of them loading it up into a truck that we can’t wait to have to pay $5 a month for! We can only imagine what kind of crowd showed up for such a historic changing f the guard. To the article!:

His goodbye fanfare included a contingent from the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco, the mummy’s rightful owner; Haggin employees; and members of the news media.

In other words, his fanfare was nobody. The only people who care about this are the people who’s job it is to care about this kind of stuff. Yet it still warranted an article and video. I fucking hate August.

Somebody finally says what we were all thinking 4 months ago (h/t: @jenniferwadsworth)

Remember Sandra Cantu? Well here’s a story about a special needs kid who went missing in a parking lot in Fremont that hasn’t received a fraction of the coverage Cantu did. The author of this piece tries to figure out why this is so, especially since this month has been so slow that a mummy being loaded into a truck is news. He never really comes to a definitive answer but the finger seems to point to race (the kid is African American while Cantu was white/Latina) and Fremont not being as tight knit a community as Tracy. Can’t really say either reason isn’t correct, but it’s still sad that someone like Nancy Grace was on the scene for Cantu in like .7 seconds while now the news is filled with wingnuts shouting Glenn Beck’s talking points at Senators. We’re not saying the ridiculous over coverage of Cantu’s disappearance is warranted in this case, but if you’re going to cover Cantu 19 out of 20 days or whatever it was, don’t you think little Hasanni Campbell deserves a week or so?

This isn’t to say that The Record should be covering this, they rarely delve into bay area news, but it’s still a more deserving story than, say, this.

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~ by Slick Diaz on August 19, 2009.

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