Double Super Awesome Deluxe Rubes of the Month!

Oh hey, we’re back. Got kind of distracted yesterday and couldn’t get a post up. We’re truly sorry. Ok, not really, but I think I know how to make it up to you. It’s time for a retroactive, extra special…

Rube! Of! The! Month!

We’ve been slacking on the feature for the last couple month, I blame the adverse effects of heavy drinking, so consider this one August’s rube.

Or, more accurately, rubes. Yes, that’s right, it’s a special multi-person rube of the month! Who gets such honors this/last month? Well, people who bought into Johnny Ford pulling the race card in his firing! More specifically, Ralph Lee White and local NAACP chair Bobby Bivens are some of August’s rubes.

And there are multiple ways these guys are rubes. For one, they spent (and are still spending) months protesting Ford’s firing claiming it was racially motivated. Then David Siders bugged City Hall (more on that later) and discovered it Ford was actually let go for allegedly using his position in City Hall to illegally receive multiple tickets to events at city-owned venues for free. Which doesn’t sound very racist to me, government workers get punished for ethics violations all the time.

With their notions of racism dashed, our rubes did what any rational human beings would do. They changed their story to fit their “rehire Johnny Ford” agenda. Now Johnny Ford should be rehired because giving out tickets isn’t that big of a deal! Which, it isn’t, the way they were allegedly obtained is.

Then City Manager Gordon Palmer retired and everybody started chirping that Ford was fired because he was next in line for Palmer who, as the excuse goes, was on shaky ground with the City Council. Of course, both of those claims are complete bullshit (Ralph Lee White full of shit? Never!). Ford was never next in line for the City Manager job. Shit, he wasn’t even third in line. And considering Palmer had just been reviewed by the Council, we sincerely doubt he was on shaky ground.

Johnny Ford was justifiably fired. That’s all there is to it. Sorry if you happen to go to church with him or something, but it’s the truth. Should those tickets he got not be a big deal? Absolutely, but like we’ve said, the law is the law. While we like to bend certain laws from time to time, we’re not civil servants. Government employees of every level have to follow the laws and rules set for them. I’m sure Ford is a very nice guy, but if he’s telling you he was fired because of the color of his skin he’s flat out lying. And that’s why the people who believed him, namely Bivens and White, are August’s co-rubes of the month.

But wait! There’s more!

Remember when we said David Siders bugged City Hall? We were joking of course, but Ann Johnston isn’t! And that makes her September’s…

Rube! Of! The! Month!

Yes, that’s right. Ann Johnston’s paranoia over the information leaked in this previously linked article earns her this month’s rube honors because who the fuck would bug City Hall? I admit, I’ve often wondered what goes on in those closed session meetings, but then something shiny goes by and I forget all about it. The ticket thing was going to come out anyways because people were already talking about it at the City Council meetings. It’s just that nobody with official knowledge said anything. Siders just found somebody to confirm that horribly kept secret.

Searching for listening devices is just a waste of city resources (Fitzified!) because the Record doesn’t have the budget to bug City Hall, and I’m pretty sure David Siders isn’t printing information from a guy who approached him with “Hey, I put a wire on that potted plant in 2-B, guess what?”. I can’t wait to hear about her investigation into who’s stealing  the plant’s water.

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~ by Slick Diaz on September 11, 2009.

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