Quick Links for Feb. 4th

Sorry for the tumbleweeds lately. Been encountering a bit of writer’s block with Real Stocktonian. So, to tide you over until I finish pounding out that post, here’s some Quick Links!

Smooth as an Eggman?

City Council meetings just aren’t as entertaining without racial tension boiling over. Sure, Lester Patrick is still making his weekly pilgrimage to City Hall, but even he seems to just be going through the motions now.

Things have gotten so pedestrian that the highlight of Tuesday’s City Council meeting was the Lincoln High School student that asked if any Council members had the cojones to shave their heads in support of cancer research. Nobody stepped up to the plate (although Vice Mayor Miller did make the “sacrifice” of offering to do the fun part).

But after sleeping on it (and with some cajoling from the Stockton Twitter Mob) Susan Eggman relented and offered to bear her skull if the St. Baldrick’s Day fundraiser can top $5,000, thus opening herself up to plenty of egg smoothness related puns that we’re sure she’ll never tire of hearing. We’ll throw up donation info once we get it because we really want this to happen. Mostly because Dale Fritchen really needs someone to relate to after losing that now infamous 70’s mane.

Dear “Dealman”, eat a dick. (Paywall warning)

Since Paragary’s was recently in the news, the guy charged with unloading it has been popping up in various places to ensure that even after the place gets sold, you’ll have his phone number memorized based on repetition alone. I’m not sure if Shawn “The Dealman” Mileham is the guy who made the chicken shit call to quietly put Paragary’s up for grabs on SF Craigslist, but even if he isn’t that doesn’t change the fact that he sounds like a total douchebag.

But he saved his douchiest move for good ol’ Mike Fitzgerald. The man may be lame enough to (we assume) self-appoint a nickname and put it on a vanity plate, but he knows lure people in. And he bagged Fitzy hook, line, and sinker. How? He suggested it would be a great idea to replace an out-of-place, “classy” joint like Paragary’s with a ritzy French restaurant. His reasoning? It works in South San Francisco. Yes, he’s comparing downtown Stockton to San Fran-motherfucking-cisco. Digest that for a minute, I have time.

Done? Ok, besides a Governor, restaurants with unpronounceable names, and copious amounts of crazy, what in the blue hell do we have in common with The City? We’re a working class town with a substandard average annual income and SF is white-collar businessmen, hippies, and skyscrapers. There is zero comparison. None. And Shawn should know that, he’s allegedly from Lodi.

Have we learned nothing over the past 5 years? Mike Fitzgerald started off 2010 (paywall again) by essentially calling downtown redevelopment the failure of the past decade. While I’ve thrown the word “failure” around a lot when referring to downtown project, I don’t actually believe it’s failed. I just like to talk/write in gross exaggerations for comedy’s sake. It’s like when (for example) I referred to someone as the world’s most expensive tape recorder. I don’t actually mean they’re the world’s most expensive tape recorder, I’m just breaking balls.

I don’t think downtown has failed by any means. Redevelopment is going to be a long, drawn out process. Results aren’t going to be immediate, but downtown redevelopment was never for us, it’s for future generations. If we’re lucky we’ll live to see a downtown where nobody gives a shit that a bunch of kids are hanging around the movie theater doing nothing in particular. But if we don’t learn from the mistakes we’re making early on (like ignoring a report that says the Paragary’s space needs to be occupied by a tenant that appeals to “risk taking youths.” Whatever that means), then downtown truly will be a failure.

One lesson we can learn from all of this is we need to stop comparing Stockton to other towns. What works for South SF, San Antonio, Carmel, or whereever won’t necessecarily work in Stockton. Stockton isn’t any other town, Stockton is Stockton. Quit trying to make it into something it’s not.

And “Dealman”, quit putting ideas in Fitzy’s head to try and move that property as soon as possible. Everybody and their grandmothers is screaming for a brewery of some sort to be put in that spot. So quit looking to make a quick deal, and look to make the right deal. Then maybe you can work on earning that ridiculously cheesy nickname.

How dare Barnes and Noble not continue to frivolously bleed money

We realize Fitz has a narrative he has to stick with, but has anybody told the guy we’re in an economic downturn? I don’t really understand how a college bookstore can lose money when they charge/rape students what they do for textbooks, but apparently the Stan State Stockton campus’ bookstore is in the red. Considering past the first few weeks of school the main purpose of the bookstore is to kill time between classes and as a place for stoners to buy replacement pens and candy, I’m not too shocked Barnes and Noble went with the limited schedule. Most students worth their weight in tuition know to buy their textbooks at a more reasonable price online anyway. But what’s just a sign of the times to us is apparently another sign that the State of California is totally trying to shaft Stockton by eliminating the Stanislaus campus. Sorry Fitz, there’s no fire where this smoke is, that’s just the smokers area.

BEARD OFF!!!

We’re late to the game on this, but the Record is in the midst of a good ol’ fashioned winter beard off. So far the only confirmed participants are Ian Hill and Daniel Thigpen, but we look forward to seeing how this all plays out. But until then, we’re off to find the Zoltar machine that turned Ian Hill into the small child we all knew he actually was (I’m going to feel like a dick when we find out he actually has Benjamin Button syndrome).

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~ by Slick Diaz on February 4, 2010.

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