Quick Links for May 11th

Yeah, don’t get used to the 2 posts in one day thing. Braden-mania was a special circumstance. The following news is also special, just a different kind if you catch my drift. Although the Pavement thing is admittedly fucking awesome. Quick Links!

Can we just hand Roger Phillips an award for this now?

Mike Fitzgerald was right, this story about SUSD Trustee Sal Ramirez’s residency is being tragically overlooked by all the other crap that’s going on. Good Lord did the Record put in a lot of work on this story. The rumors about Ramirez’s residency have been circulating for a while so the revelation that he actually lives in Davis really just confirms what a lot of people already suspected, but it took the work of Roger Phillips (and I’m guessing Thigpen since he gets some credit at the end) to nail down this rumor as fact. How? By making the exciting 70 mile drive from Stockton to Davis pretty much every other day this month. The result? Fairly definitive proof that Ramirez doesn’t live in the district he represents.

Why a single, childless adult would want to serve as a school district trustee is beyond me, let alone why they would set up an elaborate ruse to make a 70-mile drive every other week for meetings. But now that the ruse is falling apart Ramirez is doing some hilarious backtracking. His reasoning for maintaining 2 residences?

“I’m single, and it gets boring at my house.”

Yeah, because working for the Woodland school system probably has nothing to do with it (but we’ll get to that in a sec). The notion that someone would be bored in Stockton and choose to entertain themselves in Davis is one of the funniest things I’ve heard all week. Why? Davis is basically a smaller Stockton with less crime and more hippies. Sure, there’s a college there but the town is actually populated by a bunch of old people who sit around during the summer trying to devise laws to further fuck over those damn kids on their bikes.

There’s nothing to do in Davis. Nothing. Trust me, I dated a girl that went to Davis back in my college days. Davis is the UC Davis campus, Woodstocks (a pizza place/bar), and a movie theater. That’s it. Unless Ramirez is trying to pick up some sweet college tail and thinks Davis has a better selection than UOP, entertainment is not a reason to live in Davis.

You know what is a great reason to live in Davis? Being an on call substitute for the nearby Woodland School district. Ramirez declined to discuss his employer in Phillips’ article because it’s pretty much the most damning piece of evidence against him. The life of a substitute teacher is stressful at best. Unless you’ve scored one of those sweet maternity leave gigs, you’re pretty much on call every day of the week. I know this because my mom was a substitute for LUSD and SUSD a while back. The automated calling system they use isn’t that complicated. Essentially, potential subs sit around and wait for a teacher to call in sick and the school district goes down the list of subs and calls them to report to whatever school they need to go to. Most of the time, as the countless 6am phone calls that terrorized my late teens can attest to, a sub only has an hour’s notice (2 hours tops) to make it to class on time. If Ramirez is a regular sub in Woodland, there’s no way they call him at his house in Stockton to make the 70-mile drive in Sacramento rush hour traffic. The chances of him making it through the parking lot that is midtown Sac is and getting to class on time is nil. The only way he could be seriously considered for jobs in Woodland and not be perennially late is if he maintained a regular residence nearby (or if he wakes up at 5 am everyday, gets dressed, then breathlessly wait by the phone for that automated call). You can’t make a living as a sub if you can’t make it until midway through 3rd period no matter how much of your income is supplemented by that huge $650 SUSD trustee stipend.

So yeah Sal, claim all the conspiracy theories you want, that still doesn’t change the fact that YOU LIVE IN DAVIS. And you didn’t even hide it particularly well. Still, props to Phillips for the awesome work.

Take that Ian Hill!

So Pavement’s playing Stockton for the first time ever next month, proving local music curmudgeon Ian Hill wrong once again. I’m pretty sure Ian’s scathing blog post was the reason they finally relented on their hometown ban. I can just imagine Stephen Malkmus sitting in his home in the Pacific Northwest scouring internet blogs and saying “Fuck that guy, I’m playing there out of spite!”

Ok, so I’m having a little fun at the expense of Hill’s non-sensical “feud” with Matador Records over his pretty well thought out blog post a few months back on why Stockton shouldn’t get it’s hopes up for a tour stop on Pavement’s reunion tour. Hill wasn’t critical of Pavement or Matador (Pavement’s label) at all in that post, it was more of an indictment of the local music scene and the challenges it faces. It was more informational than anything. Probably to stave off hordes of “You think we can get Pavement?” texts.

Matador obviously took it a little personally and it shows in their poorly written announcement where they claim the Pavement announcement overshadowed Dallas Braden’s perfect game (HA!) and refer to Ian Hill as a writer for “San Joaquin.com” (which, you know, is kinda true except the Record blogs are hosted on Esanjoaquin.com which is an obvious sister site to the Record).

But regardless of random internet feuds, Pavement’s coming next month and tickets (which go on sale Saturday) are only $35. It’s not too often that indie rock royalty comes to Stockton so I’ll definitely be there, and you should go too for the many reasons Hill lays out in his most recent blog post. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to bribe Ian Hill $50 to write about how the original Journey lineup will never play Stockton ever.

Hey, speaking of horrible excuses…

Congressional candidate Brad Goehring offered up this gem of an explanation after posting an ill-advised hunting analogy on his Facebook page:

“I intended to include the wording ‘we would use votes and no bullets’ (but) hit the share button by accident before I finished and decided to leave it, thinking it would not be taken in a literal sense,” Goehring posted. “I’m sorry if I confused anyone.”

Yeah, if you have to clarify afterwards that you’re not advocating the use of actual bullets, it’s a bad analogy. Oh, and not be too jaded about the political system but, don’t they specifically have net-savvy interns on campaigns like these whose job it is to stop their candidate and say “You can’t say that on the liberal-heavy internet without being torn apart”?

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~ by Slick Diaz on May 11, 2010.

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