Babies and drugs don’t mix

I know I haven’t been around for a while, but some sheer dumbassery jostled me awake from whatever alcohol-induced coma I was in.

After a long layoff I checked the news to see what I had missed and what do I see? Motherfuckas are shooting babies now? What the fuck is a baby doing on the corner of California and Park at 9:30 at night? I’m 26 and even I don’t feel comfortable at California and Park after dark! What reason would somebody have to bring an infant to one of the shadier pockets on the edge of Downtown Stockton? Drugs. Naturally. (And allegedly.)

That’s not all though. Earlier this week two men were arrested for child endangerment after the 2-year old child of one of the guys ate some “marijuana resin”. There are so many questions I don’t even know where to begin to start. I know toddlers will put literally anything in their mouths, but they still have taste buds right? Marijuana resin is essentially the equivalent of the tar and shit regular cigarette filters filter out. 2-year-olds have tastebuds, don’t they? How did she not immediately spit that out? My guess is that in reality she actually ate some roaches since the jar she allegedly got the resin from contained “marijuana joints” (as opposed to Spike Lee Joints I guess).

Now, I feel for these parents, I really do. I’m sure they, like lots of people, thought they had their alleged habits under control. They probably even promised themselves they’d stop once children entered the equation. Don’t worry, every stoner at one point or another has this pipe dream. I don’t blame them for indulging in their chosen vice after becoming parents. Babies are fucking stressful and if smoking a bluntski every once in a while helps, then so be it. But there’s a line you just can’t cross.

Smoke all the fucking herb you want as a parent, but keep your baby wayyyy the fuck away from it. Especially when allegedly making a pick up on a shady street corner known for gang violence. Get a babysitter and promise to smoke them out when you get back. Hell, have one of the parents stay home while the other goes out. If you both absolutely have to go, lock the baby in the closet or something. Sure, that’s still child endangerment, but at least your baby has a smaller chance of getting shot in the fucking neck. Babies have no place in alleged drug deals. Ever.

If you do choose to leave your child unattended though, for the love of Christ treat all paraphernalia like it’s Draino. It can’t be that hard to baby-proof that shit for a 2-year-old. Stick it on a particularly tall dresser. Buy a safe. Shit, buy a padlock and just stuff all your shit in a suitcase. Babies should not be able to get their hands on jars filled with joints!

Again, I don’t fault these people for continuing their pre-child habits, just be smart about it and use some self control. Keep the kids far away from it. Smoke in your garage or something. Do whatever you can to make sure your child isn’t exposed to that part of your life for as long as possible. They deserve to have a chance to make good decisions and live a normal life, don’t fuck that up with your bad decisions.


~ by Slick Diaz on February 4, 2011.

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